Why?

Why can't I ever say I'm sorry when I'm angry? It's like I want to, but something is broken in me and the words won't come out. I go to say I'm sorry, and all that comes is another insult or snide remark. Ugh, he's so good to me but I can't even bring myself to tell him. When we fight, all I can do is add to it. I hate it. What's wrong with me??

A Few Random Thoughts

I think it's too late at night to do math. I'm reading the numbers and forgetting them as soon as I read them, lol.

I hope Cade falls asleep soon. I had to give up and put her down. She's crying it out. She sounds exhausted though. Maybe she'll give up. I feel awful letting her cry it out like this, but she needs to be able to soothe herself.

I feel like I'm such a procrastinator lately. I have still got to plan for my hair and such for the wedding in may, I have to find silk flowers, I have to find a tux rental place for husband, I have to pay the deposit on the venue and the dj and the bouquet, not to mention dress alterations and I'm sure I'm forgetting something else.. Not to mention Christmas. Ack. I guess this is what it feels like to be a responsible grown up and a parent?? I want to go back to being in Kindergarten..

Bob Blumer's Dishwasher Salmon

Bob Blumer's Dishwasher Salmon

This is crazy but it sounds possible...
It's said to make the dishwasher reek, though.

Forsaken

I'm a stay-at-home mom. I also go to college full-time online. I have moved to a town I had never previously set foot in for my now-husband, who has been here all his life. He works, and now he's going to college.. a real campus college. I'm jealous. I have no friends here, and I don't get a chance to get out. What time do I have? I'm a mom and a student. I just... want a friend. I want someone I can connect to other than my husband...

Story Pt. 1

She hesitated just outside the door. She could hear his heavy breathing as he went through his forms, dedicating himself entirely to the task at hand. Lightly, she knocked.
"Who is it?" came a voice from the other side of the door.
"I've brought you some jasmine tea, if you want it", she timidly responded.
"Sure, come on in."
As she balanced the tea tray on the palm of her left hand, she effortlessly pushed open the oak door. He was just pulling his arm through the right sleeve of his yellow silk shirt when she entered his room. Pulling the shirt the rest of the way down his chest, he motioned her over to a small table.

Little Big Planet

I want to play LBP so bad. I want it. Now. Little Big Planet has fascinated me since I read the first review. Don't get me wrong, I am all about RPGs and zombie games, but there's something about this game that just reeks epic. If only PS3s would drop even a little in price. It's sad that I'll be getting a Wii before I get a PS3. Hmm.. Sony needs to get on their game.

Progeny

Isn't it funny how life seems to catch up to you? One minute you are out all night partying it up with friends and you blink and the next thing you know you're changing dirty diapers. I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering what exactly happened when I allowed myself to blink? What's more, I blink again and that tiny thing known as my daughter is 7 months old and almost crawling. It's awesome being a parent. No, not awesome as in "rad, dude!". Awesome as in "awe-inspiring" and such. As in, I've never been so proud, so humbled, and so happy. Not to mention busy, stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. I wouldn't have it any other way.